Cats and Dogs

I found this on Homesteader's Heart and thought that it was so funny! Enjoy!

The Difference Between Cats and Dogs!

“Excerpts From The Dog’s Daily Diary”

8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master’s bed! My favorite!

“Excerpts From The Cat’s Daily Diary”

Day 283 Of My Captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre littledangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thingthat keeps me going is the hope of escape, and themild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasionalpiece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat anotherhouse plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weavingaround their feet while they were walking almostsucceeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. Inan attempt to disgust and repulse these vileoppressors, I once again induced myself to vomiton their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headlessbody, in attempt to make them aware of what I amcapable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.They only cooed and condescended about what a goodlittle cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However,I could hear the noise and smell the food. Moreimportantly I overheard that my confinementwas due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn whatthis is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies andmaybe snitches. The dog is routinely released andseems more than happy to return. He is obviouslya half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to bean informant, and speaks with them regularly. I amcertain he reports my every move. Due to his currentplacement in the metal room, his safety is assured.But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. . . .